Understanding the Teenage Mind with the CVI Share:
- Steve Williamson, Dir. Product Development, eRep, Inc.
- Monday, September 30, 2019
"Kids these days," laments every parent, ever. "I wasn't like that when I was their age."
Yes, you were. We all were. The hair styles and cars and music and fashion may be different, but the teenage mind shares a lot in common across every generation.
One thing that remains consistent is the sometimes perplexing struggle parents have trying to understand their teens.
Person A Understanding Person B
We see the world through the lens of our own perspective. If you are a left-brained person like I am, your perception of the world is shaped by your logical and rational mind. If you are a right-brained person, then you're just wrong.
I'm kidding, of course. But, at times our interactions with others can sometimes feel like that. It can feel as if another person's way of seeing the world is skewed and incorrect. Without realizing it, we can hold this perception because the other individual is hardwired differently than ourselves.
Hint: This is an important component of parent-teen relations.
People who take psychometric assessments like the Core Values Index often use that information only to better understand themselves. That is the CVI's primary purpose, of course, but there is great value to be had by using knowledge of core value energies to better understand others as well.
When a parent and their teenage child takes the CVI, they have have the opportunity to share their profiles and understand each other's perspectives and hardwiring.
We see the world through the lens of our own CVI profile. Are you experiencing challenges trying to figure out what's going on inside your teenager's head? They are experiencing the world and perceiving it from the perspective of their own psychometric profile. Their hardwiring determines their perspective.
As does your own.
Do your profiles match or do they differ? Therein lies the clues you need to understand them better.
The CVI can be taken by anyone aged 13 and up — it depends on vocabulary, essentially. Parents, when you and your teenager take the CVI, spend time reading each of your full reports. Use your profile graphs to understand how your separate perspectives intersect and diverge. Pay special attention to the communications and conflict resolution strategies of your reports because these sections provide a lot of insight into how you interact.
Check out our YouTube video, “Core Values Index: The Profound Impact of the CVI.” It is a moving story about how the CVI transformed a father's relationship with his teenaged son.
Negotiation experts say the way you frame a request will in large part determine its reception and chance of success.
Framing also plays a big part in the success of communications between people. If you frame your expectations based on your own perspective, your odds of getting what you want go down. If you frame your expectations based on the other person's perspective, your odds go up.
As a parent, understanding the emotional and mental hardwiring of your teenage child helps you frame your expectation. It should also help shape your communications.
Depending on your child's primary and secondary core values profile, you should frame your approach accordingly. Bankers love facts and data and are wary of emotional manipulation. Conversely, Merchants can spot a lie from a mile away and Builders don't want their time wasted with long and drawn out conversations or lectures.
Shape your communication based on the core values profile of the other person.
Get to know your teen's profile and learn about their communication style, preferred method of learning, conflict resolution strategy, and overall perspective on the world around them. Tailor your expectations accordingly.
If you can remember and implement just one piece of wisdom, let it be this: your teenager sees the world through the lens of their CVI profile, as do you. Learn and understand this and you can both see an improvement in the way you interact and communicate.
Go to eRep.com/core-values-index/ to learn more about the CVI or to take the Core Values Index assessment.
Innovator/Banker - Dir. Product Development, eRep, Inc.
Steve has a career in information technology and software development spanning three decades. He is the author of a series of fantasy novels called The Taesian Chronicles (www.taesia.com), and when he isn't writing he enjoys motorcycle adventure touring and buzzing around the skies in his home-built flight simulator.