Can You Get Along With Anyone?

You can get along with anyone if you understand your own personality and how the other person is hardwired.

People Are Different

People are different. The odds of you finding someone who shares your exact same personality — based on psychometric hardwiring and experience — are about the same as being born an only child and then meeting your identical twin in the checkout line at Target.

I actually met my twin once. We'll call him Sean. He was working at a real estate office that hired me for some IT consulting work back in the mid '90s. We looked like brothers — not quite identical twins, but almost.

The similarities didn't stop there. Sean and I shared very similar experiences growing up. Our parents had similar jobs, we grew up in communities that were the same in all but name, our schooling had many parallels, and we even shared many of the same hobbies.

Our personalities, however, were quite different.

I met my functional and metaphorical twin and he was an asshole.

Your Personality's DNA

The Core Values Index psychometric assessment didn't come into my life until 2016, but if I had known about the CVI twenty years earlier when I met Sean, our completely different personalities (despite our numerous other similarities) would not have surprised me at all.

Despite my impression of Sean being a right git, as my British friends might say, I can look back on my experience with him and use my understanding of the CVI to actually appreciate what he brought to the table.

In fact, there are aspects of Sean's personality that I respect and admire. This is because he has qualities that I do not.

After taking the Core Values Index and learning about my own personality, the next level of my CVI education and knowledge has imparted to me the understanding of how other people are hardwired.

We are not islands unto ourselves, and even the most asocial and isolated among us must interact with others from time to time.

Knowing that everyone is different is the first step toward getting along. Learning to respect, honor and even admire those differences is where the real growth happens.

Differences Are A Good Thing

Thinking back to my experience with Sean and a handful of other people I've had the misfortune to meet in my adult life, I wonder if the CVI can help everyone — me, you, Sean — learn how to get along with anyone we may meet?

Can oil learn to get along with water?

Knowing your own psychometric profile — your personality's DNA — goes a long way toward this goal. It helps you understand why you see the world the way you do, and to know your innate emotional hardwiring — the way you react to stress, why certain activities make you happy, and why you seem to connect with some people so readily and yet connecting with others can seem so challenging.

Knowing yourself is the first step toward getting along with others. Learning how to recognize how they are emotionally wired is step two.

There are many useful resources available to help you identify the likely Core Values Index profile of others. Being able to spot their likely personality type is invaluable regardless of the context of your interaction, be it personal or professional.

See: How to Guess Someone's Core Values Index Profile

Turning Personality Information Into Insight

Knowing your own profile and knowing the profile of others is just that, knowledge. It is information. To turn that information into insight and understanding takes something more. It takes respect and acknowledgement that everyone is unique, and every unique person you meet has something to offer.

Within the CVI itself, there are several million different personality score combinations. Even if you meet someone with the same CVI profile scores as yourself, they have a life history of experiences that combine with their emotional hardwiring to make them truly unique (just like you).

What has really helped me learn to appreciate others is to honor our differences.

What has really helped me learn to appreciate others is to honor our differences. They bring something to the table that I cannot. Rather than being a source of jealousy or envy, I instead appreciate the contribution they make that fills in my own gaps.

Too Many Wide Receivers

Imagine an NFL football team where every player was a wide receiver. No quarterbacks, no kickers, no defensive line, just wide receivers. Would that team win very many games?

You can't be an effective wide receiver if you don't have an accurate quarterback throwing the ball to you or a solid offensive line clearing your route. Individually we are very different, but together we can score a touchdown.

When you learn how to apply knowledge of the CVI to identify the emotional hardwiring of others, and compare that to your own psychometric profile, you have the opportunity to respect and honor and admire your shared contribution to the team, to the organization, or even to the entire planet. You have the opportunity to get along with anyone because you recognize that everyone is valuable.

And you'll be amazed at how many games you can win when each athlete is playing to their unique strengths yet pulling together collectively as a team.