How Do You Find Happiness?

I searched Google for "How do I find happiness" and was amazed to see there were 2.2 billion results returned. That's billion with a b. I was shocked. I expected there to be a lot of results, but 2.2 billion? There are only 7 billion people on the planet and many of them don't have access to reliable internet service (or any internet service at all).

The search for personal happiness is common amongst our species. Rampant might be even more descriptive. Frantic, maybe?

How do you answer the question, "What makes you happy?" It's a simple enough question, and we often reach for easy answers like spending time with our kids, or watching a beautiful sunset, or enjoying a good meal.

Have you ever met someone who seemed happy no matter where they were or what was going on in their life? I've met a couple of people like that in my lifetime, and I found them to be both intriguing and slightly annoying. I was intrigued because I wanted desperately to know their secret — how do they find a way to be happy no matter the circumstance? I also found them a little annoying because they had something I didn't, and I'm human. Sue me.

I've since learned the one thing those people had in common. Read on to see if you can guess what it is.

There are many paths we take in the pursuit of happiness. We seek it on daytime talk shows and in self-help books touted by guests that appear on daytime talk shows. We think we can find clues in the actions and words of celebrities, and we attempt to mimic them by buying clothes and cars that look like theirs. If only we can achieve or acquire just a few of the accessories and characteristics of that reality TV superstar, we might be as happy as they seem to be.

Some of us seek happiness in religion, with the belief that the secret will be divinely dispensed through works, words, deeds, or by pure faith alone.

I am still seeking that all-encompassing happiness that Google indicates we all desperately want to find. I've found a little but I want more.

I am not a guru or a leader of faith. Nor am I a psychologist and I don't play one on TV. What I am is a problem solver. And when I try to solve a problem, the first place I start is by defining the fundamentals of what I know.

What I know is that happiness will fit a definition that is unique for every individual. My happiness won't be yours, and the happiness of Mr. Jones down the street that lives in the much larger house and who drives the much faster car will be different as well.

Logically speaking — wait? What does logic have to do with happiness? Stick with me on this one — I can't find my own happiness if I don't know what my own happiness looks like. That seems self-referential, but it's actually quite profound and important. You can't find something if you don't know what it is.

You may ask, "Okay, smarty pants, how do I find out what my happiness looks like?"

To that I ask, "How well do you know yourself?" If you have a pretty good list of the things that make you happy, that's a great start, but I don't need a Google search to guess that you built your list through a lifetime of trial and error. There must be a way to short-cut to the answer.

There is, actually. It won't involve a lot of trial and error, nor a climb to the top of a mountain to visit some old guy in desperate need of a shower, either. You can't find the answer by watching a TV show or by reading today's celebrity book.

The Answer

First, know thyself. Socrates said it a long, long time ago, and he was right. First, know thyself. Understand how you are hardwired. Get to know the way you view the world from your very core. Start at your own unique foundation, with your personality's DNA.

Learn the psychometrics of what makes you tick. Gather the data that describes how you function at the deepest level of your personality. Get to the subconscious you, the part that isn't filtered or diluted or modified by your higher-brained self that thinks it knows it all.

If you gain these foundational pieces of information, everything else will soon follow. Are you a natural leader, finding happiness when motivating others and getting things done? Do you find the greatest satisfaction when establishing emotional connections with others? Is your greatest joy to be found when solving problems? Does gathering and sharing knowledge make you feel fulfilled and useful?

The answers to those questions — the answers that are unique to you — can be found in one place, and in one place alone:

The Core Values Index psychometric assessment.